Bengaluru Suicide: Men's Rights Activists Twist Isolated Incident to Undermine Systemic Gender Oppression and Weaponize Victimhood to Attack Women

The Pattern of Outrage: Men as Victims, Women as Witches

It’s a story we’ve seen time and time again. A man claims to have been wronged by a woman—in this case, a tragic incident involving a man from Bangalore who took his own life, blaming his wife for his distress. It's everywhere on social media. You couldn't miss it. Here's a refresher anyway. I wouldn't like to paraphrase something I don't care about, so to quote Business Standard, "Atul Subhash, a 34-year-old tech professional from Bengaluru, died by suicide in his home after months of meticulous planning. Subhash, who specialised in artificial intelligence, left behind a 24-page suicide note, a 90-minute video, and a checklist outlining his final days." "Subhash’s suicide note detailed the legal battles initiated by his wife, including allegations of murder, dowry harassment, and unnatural sex."

Atul Subhash, 34, died by suicide (image taken from a now-viral video)

After watching the video (if at all anyone watched it until the end, I'm certain men's rights activists only read a few overdramatized posts with tacky thumbnails), almost immediately, LinkedIn and Instagram lit up with outrage. Suddenly, a swarm of self-proclaimed "meninists" emerged, declaring that women are misusing laws designed to protect them. These men band together, spinning a narrative of victimhood that pits all women as scheming, malicious perpetrators. It’s as though one story becomes irrefutable proof that systemic abuse against men exists, while conveniently erasing the daily realities of women who face domestic abuse, honor killings, marital rape, and more. Let's dive deep into the classic case of men crying wolf. I couldn't bother to translate my anger and frustration into an Instagram post, let alone a long opinion piece. So, with some prompt magic, I let ChatGPT do the lion's share. I'd love to take full responsibility though for any triggered feelings. Here goes nothing.

Men’s Rights Activists Undermine Systemic Oppression: Bengaluru Suicide Case vs. Deep-Rooted Injustice

The thing is, laws protecting women exist for a reason. Women have been—and continue to be—systematically oppressed across the world. That’s not a one-off case; it’s a centuries-long reality. Yet, every time one man cries foul on social media, like the viral Bengaluru suicide, men’s rights activists begin to undermine systemic oppression and discredit women’s struggles entirely. Instead of acknowledging that any individual—man or woman—can be flawed, they latch onto personal incidents to paint women as a collective “problem” and deflect from systemic patriarchy.

This reaction reveals their failure to see the bigger picture: men, as a gender, hold structural power. For every tragic incident involving a man, there are thousands of women whose daily struggles never make it to a viral Instagram post. If every woman shared her story of marital abuse or societal oppression, the internet itself would crash.

Men’s Rights Activists: Fighting the Wrong Battle

Let’s get one thing clear: men face issues too. Mental health, toxic masculinity, and unrealistic gender expectations harm men. However, the men’s rights movement does little to address these actual concerns. Instead, it often devolves into a misogynistic crusade against women. The so-called "men’s rights activists" hijack tragedies to vilify women rather than confront the societal norms that hurt both genders. They shout about false cases of abuse but ignore the reality that false accusations are outliers—not the norm. In the process, real issues faced by men are overshadowed, thanks to their knee-jerk need to blame women.

Corporate Bros and "Nice Guys": The Gendered Hypocrisy

The men leading this crusade often belong to a particular demographic—middle-class, corporate professionals who routinely make jokes at their wives’ expense. These are the same men who cling to traditional gender roles and patriarchal structures. Yet, when an opportunity arises to paint themselves as victims, they leap at it. Their hypocrisy is glaring: they perpetuate the very systems that harm men (and women), yet blame women for their frustrations.

Then come the self-proclaimed "nice guys”—men who claim they’ve been mistreated by women, generalizing their heartbreak into a universal indictment of all women. These men cannot fathom that patriarchy is the root problem; instead, they believe women are “misusing their power” and ruining men’s lives. In reality, they’re not fighting for equality. They’re fighting to preserve outdated norms that keep women in check.

The Perfect Victim Fallacy: Weaponizing Women’s Imperfections

A major issue with these reactionary men is their insistence that women must be flawless victims to deserve sympathy. The moment a privileged or imperfect woman is seen doing wrong, men’s rights activists use her actions to undermine all women’s struggles. It’s a convenient tactic: highlight one individual’s mistake to erase the collective suffering of an entire gender. But people are human—men and women both. Holding all women to impossible standards only reveals the biases these men hold.

For men who perpetuate this mindset, women’s actions are weaponized to reinforce their anger. They need a scapegoat, and women’s perceived flaws become the perfect excuse. Instead of introspection, they resort to attack.

The Real Problem: Patriarchy, Not Women

Here’s the truth that MRAs refuse to acknowledge: the problem is not women. It’s patriarchy. The very system that oppresses women also harms men. Toxic masculinity tells men they cannot show emotions. Gender roles force them into provider or protector molds, which can be stifling. Yet, instead of challenging these structures, men’s rights activists turn their anger toward women. It’s easier, after all, to attack women than to dismantle the systems that make them uncomfortable.

When men lash out at women on social media, blaming them for their personal grievances, they reveal their inability to see themselves as part of the oppressor class. They ignore the privilege that comes with being male in a patriarchal world. They want to believe they’re the victims, not the beneficiaries of systemic power.

Men Need to Do Better

It’s time for men’s rights activists to take a hard look at themselves. If they truly care about men’s issues, they should focus on dismantling the patriarchal norms that harm both men and women. False cases and individual incidents should be addressed, but they cannot be used as weapons to erase women’s collective struggles. Men must learn to see beyond their personal frustrations and recognize the systems at play.

If you’re angry about something, put that energy where it belongs: against patriarchy, not women. Otherwise, you’re not fighting for equality. You’re just perpetuating the same oppression you claim to reject.